summer is finally over

summertime sadness and fall optimism

It’s been a year since my sister asked me out of the blue, are you a lizard?

I thought, shit, what finally gave it away after two decades of knowing me? Was it my gummy worm addiction, or, perhaps, did she just begin to find the giant tail that sticks out from my rear end a bit suspicious?

She followed up with unhelpful context.

I’m asking because I’m a lizard.

My immediate reaction was: omg are mom and dad also lizards, are we just one big lizard family?

I felt embarrassed—I couldn’t believe that we had fallen victim to the undersharing immigrant family stereotype. Why hadn’t we, as a family, had more heart-to-heart conversations about this? Why did we choose to fight these battles alone, when we could have worked through them together?

My sister broke my internal dialogue with long overdue clarity.

No, dude, I mean there are two types of people in this world: lizards and non-lizards. 

The sun energizes lizards and strips away energy from non-lizards.

It’s a TikTok thing.

Relief. My identity was safe for now.

Oh yes, I think I’m a lizard too, I replied before scurrying away on all fours back to my room.

kids playing sports in the summer, los angeles

Born-and-raised in always-sunny LA, son to a mother named Sun, I’m just as shocked to say this, as the rest of you may be to hear it.

But someone has to speak the truth and I’m willing to take the heat.

I’m so glad that summer is finally over.

Well… sort of. I don’t actually hate the summer, at least, not as much as this Redditor does.

In fact, I thrive in warm weather. I truly am a metaphorical lizard; nothing quite energizes me like an hour of lying on a sandy beach, where the toasty sand below and vibrant sun above cooks me from both sides like a Costco rotisserie chicken.

I also had great summers growing up. My childhood was very active and I hung around a lot of other sporty kids. We’d spend so much time playing outside that, not only would I develop a golden tan, but the sun would also bleach my jet-black hair into an espresso shade. You already know the ladies loved my natural highlights.

Summer as a kid was fun.

But summer as an adult… has sucked so far?

I think what really gets me is the fakeness, the facades that summer brings out in people. Everyone is scrambling to plan a vacation worthy enough—in length, novelty, and photo opportunities—to check off as their “trip for the year”. Littered around my office are nuggets of small-talk wisdom such as can you believe this weather, it’s perfect out! and gotta make the most of this weather while it lasts! While I’m not someone who is prone to getting FOMO, the alarm bells still go off in my brain, screaming why aren’t you capitalizing on the great weather? go do something fun!

It's as if we lose our ability to evaluate our preferences objectively and instead fall into this groupthink herd mentality. Sure, summers are great, but they could be even more enjoyable if we practiced a bit more objectivity.

I’ve read so many beautiful poems and pieces regarding the fall, winter, and spring seasons. There is an emotional depth to them—heavy allusions to life, death, and the passage of time. These deeper thoughts are made possible by embracing imperfect weather conditions, solitude, and opportunities for reinvention. On the other hand, trying to explain summer in non-cliche terms is damn near impossible.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about summers as an adult.

Summers are hectic, frantic, and sweaty. My bank account is at it’s year-to-date low from my summer travels and experiences, because how could you stay indoors when the weather is so perfect. I’m wearing the same boring t-shirt and shorts combo everyday and so is everyone else. My skin is dripping with sunscreen oil during the day, insect repellant at night, all the while my internal organs are shriveling up from dehydration. Worst of all, the city smells like hot garbage and so do your armpits (obviously, mine are fine).

Perhaps summers get exciting again once you have kids. Which makes me wonder: is this a Santa Claus sort of situation, where, because the kids love summer, all the adults with kids have to pretend everything is perfect, and as a result, here we are in our 20s and 30s, consuming and excreting this faux-positivity into each other like a human centipede?

Ok, I understand that was a bit aggressive, but I do truly wonder:

Does anyone else feel this way?

sunset in newport, ca

Most people have heard of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It’s most common in the winter, appropriately typed “winter depression”.

I don’t enjoy the shorter, frigid days of the winter months, but I wouldn’t say they significantly produce the symptoms required for me to believe I get winter depression (low mood, feelings of hopelessness, low energy, increased appetite, increased sleep).¹

While winter depression is the most common form of SAD, “summer depression” is far less common and, therefore, not really discussed as much.

I believe that I get some form of SAD in the summer months, characterized by anxiety, reduced appetite, and insomnia. While I’ve never been diagnosed with SAD, I do have a history with depression, so I’m relying on that benchmark to help evaluate what I’d consider as “atypical behavior”. Fortunately, my summertime sadness is pretty mild and I’ve developed coping mechanisms to lessen its symptoms through years of practice.

I wanted to make this brief public service announcement as we transition over from the warmer months to the colder ones. Whether you get SAD in the summer or winter, whether you get SAD at all, I think fall is a great transitory period to at least be aware that the times are changing and think through opportunities to prioritize your mental health.

My dad and I were talking the other day about the number of celebrations that happen across cultures between August and November.

Moon Festival, Chuseok, Oktoberfest, Diwali, Halloween, Día de los Muertos, Thanksgiving—these are just some of the many cultural celebrations and gatherings that happen in the fall.

Oh, fall, how I’m so incredibly excited for you. The golden child built off golden leaves. We collectively recognize the days are getting shorter, nights are getting colder, and that time is running out. How do we cope with all? Through celebration—we bring together community; the final gathering before winter comes. 

Fall is a time to be genuine and authentic, not only to others, but also to yourself.

Take advantage of the warmer days to go on a long walk with a friend, watching the leaves turn amber. And when it’s cold and raining, stay inside, make a cup of tea, and cozy up on the couch to watch a movie or some postseason baseball.

I’m happy to announce that summer is over.

We can once again take things at our own pace.

instagram: @wry.mood

podcast: leap years pod

goodreads: what i’m reading

1. All these symptoms and definitions were sourced from Johns Hopkins’ post on Seasonal Affective Disorder