my five year plans

the normie, the smartie, the wanton boy

source: probably reddit

Babies gain “object permanence” at around eight months old.

This is an important skill because it means they finally stop being dumb and start realizing their toys continue to exist even when they can’t see them. Scientists agree that it’s generally best not to ask babies questions like “have you seen my car keys?” until they have gained object permanence.

Alongside infants—near the bottom of the IQ chain—are teenagers. Teens also go through a transformational change, around age 15. No, it's not puberty. It’s worse.

In high school, we gain something I’ll call “future permanence”. This is when we begin to realize that the future is not a far-off concept, but rather a continuous, unavoidable reality shaped by our current decisions: where we go to college, what we major in, and what career path we take. Much like how a hidden toy still exists, our future is also ever-present.

I have friends who have known they wanted to be a doctor, software engineer, or lawyer from the moment they gained future permanence. Unfortunately, I had no preference for where I went, what I studied, or what I did. High school was always an end to a means, a natural obstacle that must be overcome in order to earn passage into college.

I told myself that once I got to college, I’d figure everything future-related out.

Turns out, I actually got more confused in college. Within my first year, I switched my major from Pre-Med to Neuroscience to Computational Biology to Abraham Lincoln to Cognitive Neuroscience to Computer Science.

I ultimately graduated with a degree in Computer Science and Economics—the two broadest and most “practical” majors available. When it came time to apply for jobs, I realized that I held neither the expertise nor interest to feel excited about any field. Nevertheless, I felt as though if I could land a decent new grad job, at least I’d be making forward progress with my life.

Up until now, I’ve largely allowed life to happen to me. I’m fortunate that, by working hard and rolling with the gut-checks life has thrown at me, I’m quite happy with where I’m at today. But overall, I’ve lived quite passively.

I’m nine months into my job and four months into writing, during which I've learned more about myself than ever before—except maybe those first few months of my life when I mastered object permanence and crying. For the first time, I can envision what my life might look like in a couple years.

I’ve taken inspiration from Stanford’s Life Design Lab and a few other writers to create my own Odyssey Plan.

The Odyssey Plan is a life-planning exercise that prompts you to consider three different life trajectories and envision what your life would look like in five years if you followed each path:

1. What would your life look like in five years if you continued down your current path?

2. What would your life look like in five years if you took a completely different path?

3. What would your life look like in five years if money and image were irrelevant?

After completing this thought experiment, I came up with three different personas for myself:

1. The Normie

2. The Smartie

3. The Wanton Boy

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Current Path: The Normie

• I’m 28-years-old and I live in Brooklyn.

• I’ve been working at the same company for six years now, or perhaps I’ve moved over to a different one. They’re all pretty much the same. I’ve settled into a team better aligned with my interests and skills. Over these last few years, I’ve earned a few promotions and find myself at the senior manager level. My pay is very good and stable, but my time isn’t very flexible.

• I might not find the work I do to be fulfilling, but I maintain a healthy inner life outside of my job with hobbies. I’ve been writing for 5 years now and have published 260 pieces. I’ve tried out a couple new creative pursuits, but given the constraints of the 9-5, I haven’t been able to fully commit to anything. Still, they bring me lots of joy and fulfillment.

• I am unable to visit friends and family as often as I would like to, but I still make the effort.

• I try to stay connected with the community around me. I’ve joined networking groups, book clubs, and volunteer organizations, all of which bring a sense of purpose and connection to my life.

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Alternative Path: The Smartie

• I’m 28-years-old and I live somewhere in New England.

• As someone who has always enjoyed learning, I decided to go back and earn a Ph.D. in behavioral economics. I chose behavioral economics because it is the ideal intersection between economics and psychology—both of which I hold strong interests in—and because academia empowers me to leverage and grow my technical skill set.

• I’m a few years into earning my degree now. I’ve been able to zero in on a couple interesting research questions and have contributed meaningfully to the field. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this degree after graduating, but I have some time to figure it out.

• I leverage the academically charged environment I’m in by regularly attending seminars and conferences to stay up-to-date on the latest research in my field and others. Inspiration can be found anywhere.

• I’ve been writing for 5 years now, though I have fallen a bit off my weekly cadence. The ebbs and flows of the academic calendar are partially to blame, but presumably, the Ph.D. workload is the main issue. My pieces have evolved to be more aligned with whatever it is I’m studying and researching.

• I believe many institutions have rules forbidding outside employment, so my hobbies remain just hobbies.

• I’m a bit strapped for cash, which is likely my main regret for pursuing such a long and rigorous endeavor.

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Different Path: The Wanton Boy

• I’m 28-years-old and I live in LA, Brooklyn, and everywhere in between.

• I stayed at my first job for two years. With the understanding that I would never return to the corporate world, I approached my work with a different perspective. Work became an opportunity to gain insights into how the corporate world operates and learn more about myself in the process. Rather than prioritizing promotions and performance reviews, I took a more holistic approach to personal development by focusing on networking and presentation skills.

• After quitting my job, I traveled the world working as a barista. I learned the intricacies of how to make good coffee, interact with people, and design a cafe. I didn’t travel to “find myself.” I know all answers to my problems are within me. But the answers to great coffee and vibes? That’s out there somewhere.

• While working as a barista, I continued to feed my creative pursuits and skills. Writing, drawing, creating—I took inspiration from everything and expressed myself through a variety of channels. I’ve turned one or two of those hobbies into a business.

• After my years of travel and research, I opened up my own cafe. I’ve always loved the idea of creating a space where people can connect and convene. Whenever I can, I open up my cafe after-hours for friends and family. It serves as an important third space for us. My cafe might not be wildly successful. But in a way, it has become another creative expression of myself.

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Takeaways

• It’s only been a few months since I started writing in public, but it's already become something I can’t imagine living without.

• I want to avoid building a future that relies on a high income because:

  • I don’t think I will be able to earn life changing money given my current career trajectory. I already earn enough and the marginal increases for each promotion will inevitably be eaten up by lifestyle creep.

  • I don’t want a lot of money if I don’t have the time to spend it meaningfully and with the people I love.

  • I don’t want to lose my spark. Too many consultants, bankers, and software engineers start their careers with personal dreams and passions. After working cushy corporate jobs for long enough, they become complacent.

• I’ve often thought about working in public service, as per Gina Raimondo’s suggestion during my graduation ceremony. I’m still figuring out where that fits into all this.

• I never considered a cafe as being a creative extension of myself until I wrote this piece.

• I was surprised that I would choose to stay at my current job if money and status were not an issue. It’s all about perspective I guess.

• After writing my final draft, I had to Command-F to find and remove instances of “maybe” and “hopefully”. Hopefully I’ve found a better team. Maybe I’m studying behavioral economics. These qualifiers and uncertainties show how uncomfortable I felt with this thought experiment. I need to be looser.

This was a self-centered post where I learned a lot about myself. If you made it this far, you also probably got caught in the blast radius and learned more about me than you would have liked.

I just hope you don’t know more about my future than you do about your own.